Celebrating Pride at MFS

Written By Matt Harra

Stories of Resilience by MFS Staff

by Nikki Hunt, MFS Director of Development


June is a special month for many, but for the LGBTQIA+ community, it holds profound significance. Recognized globally as Pride Month, this period is dedicated to honoring the struggles, celebrating the victories, and advocating for the rights of LGBTQIA+ individuals. This month at MFS, we continue our tradition of reaching out to our community, gathering voices and stories related to each month’s theme from MFS staff, volunteers, and program participants.

Pride Month traces its roots back to the 1969 Stonewall Riots in New York City, a pivotal moment in the fight for LGBTQIA+ rights. Today, it is a vibrant, worldwide celebration that promotes self-affirmation, dignity, and increased visibility for the LGBTQIA+ community, while also commemorating the ongoing fight against discrimination and violence.

This Pride Month, we posed several questions to our MFS staff and invited them to share their individual stories and experiences. Here are their unfiltered responses, offering a glimpse into their personal journeys and reflections on the changes within the LGBTQIA+ community over the years.

 

Nikki, the author (left) and her Bi Definition social support group in the late 90s

 

Thoughts from Nikki Hunt, MFS Development Director

"I went to high school in Northern California in the 1980’s. Back then, 'gay' was the umbrella term for the dualistic 'gay or straight.' Which was part of why I was confused about my sexuality. I was in love with my best friend (female, like me) but I was also attracted to males. Since I thought you had to be either gay or straight, I thought I must be straight—and I broke my best friend’s heart (mine too, really). It wasn’t until I was 28 that I heard the term 'bisexual' and instantly realized 'that is me!'

That revelation led me to Bi Definition (Milwaukee, WI), a social support group for bisexuals and anyone who didn’t feel they fit the binary. Soon I was facilitating meetings and writing for the newsletter. I learned so much more about myself and others during this time – and so much more about joy and celebrating and chosen family!

At this time (late 90’s/early 2000s), there was great pressure from the Gay and Lesbian community for us to get our own bars and spaces and to 'pick a side'—and, when we didn’t, we were accused of betrayal. When the, then new, Milwaukee LGBT Community Center opened up the library, Bi Definition folks were excited because many of us had donated books—but we couldn’t find them—there was no bisexual section. When we asked, we were told that they had decided to shelve the books in either the gay or lesbian section, depending on if each particular book seemed more gay or more lesbian.

I miss my Bi Definition family, but I am so pleased that the community has expanded to include so much more diversity. Diversity is vital to the health of any community – something nature makes very clear; when diversity disappears, ecosystems crash. I have had conversations with other MFS LGBTQIA+ co-workers about what it is that our particular diversity brings to MFS. It is hard to pin it down, but I think it has something to do with the lens that LGBTQIA+ folks bring to the world. We know from firsthand experience that the world is not either/or. Seeing the world with a both/and lens leads to questioning the 'norm' and opens up creative ways of seeing and being in the world."

Foster

Thoughts from Foster Kupbens, MFS CASH Virtual Tax Site Coordinator

"I think we as a community have grown a lot in the last few decades. I mean that both as a reference to the character of our community, and just the sheer number of out people. I think part of the reason for that is that historically speaking, we have been viewed as being out of the ordinary. We are different in some way from ‘normal people,’ and we have some characteristics that define us as others. When in reality, we are just a group of dorks with a vendetta against Webster's dictionary.

I mean, we’ve been here just as long if not longer than ‘normal people.’ Just because the English language doesn’t have a specific word to describe a sandwich made with leftover ham and cheese from yesterday's brunch, doesn’t mean my lunch today didn’t exist.

For instance, I remember when we were just ‘gay.’ I was a ‘straight’ in my Middle and High School’s Gay Straight Alliance. I felt safe there (which I now realize is because I was around other queer folx, and I was too dense to realize I was one too), but I never thought I was ‘Gay’ enough to be on that side of the Alliance. That’s kind of the folly of naming your club as an either or situation. You don’t leave room for the grey area.

Being bi was a much more accepted and recognized word to describe people like me by the time I got to college, and I found the label helped with a lot of the apprehension I felt about needing to either be gay or be straight. I didn’t suddenly become Bi, I always was, our community just didn’t have the words for us yet. Same thing happened around the time I came out as non-binary. I just didn’t know the words to describe who I was, until I did. Mind you, both of those words were around before I was born, but our community grew to accept us as part of the crew, and that allowed me to learn about those identities.

We’ve grown not because there are all of a sudden a ton more queer people in the world, but because we feel safe being a part of it. Now more than ever."

Celebrating Diversity and Inclusion

These powerful narratives underscore the importance of acknowledging and celebrating the diverse experiences within the LGBTQIA+ community. At MFS, we believe that diversity is a strength. The unique perspectives and experiences of LGBTQIA+ individuals enrich our organization, foster creativity, and promote a deeper understanding of the world around us.

As we celebrate Pride Month, we are reminded of the importance of visibility, acceptance, and the ongoing fight for equality. The stories shared by our a couple of our staff highlight the progress made and the work still needed to ensure that everyone, regardless of their identity, can live authentically and proudly.

Happy Pride Month from MFS!

More about Pride Month

Content Warning: Mention of self-harm

Matt Harra
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